Saturday, May 21, 2005

piercing headache

Went to Kajsas birthday dinner yesterday. It was nice, we danced and laughed a lot. I got back home about 11, and after a while a got the most terrible headache ever. It was horrible, I just ast on the couche and cried.
When it had passed (after mom had me wash down an Alvedon with Treo) I went to Liseberg. I was supposed to watch Max play the Sax, but I missed it. We (the family) played a few games, Ludde and Max went for a few rides and then we went back home.
Now I'm just... doing nothing and hoping for Adam to come over tonight.
I'm going to Copenhagen with my class on monday morning so I'm a little bit stressed out. I guess it will be fun, at least I hope it will. I have to stay in a hotelroom with some people I hoped to avoid but heck, I won't be in the room that much anyway.

Friday, April 22, 2005

lost, hurt, tired and lonely

sitter i adams rum mitt i natten och surar. han är på sergejs fest i masthuggets hus. han sa att han skalle komma tillbaka innan ett, men när jag pratade med honom nyss sa han typ "jag kommer väl hem så småningom". jävla skitapa. jag ville inte följa med för jag var så sjukt trött, men nu känner jag mig bara mobbad. inte för att jag hade FÅTT följa med även om jag orkat; adam vill aldrig mer gå på fest med mig efter hur jag betedde mig på brännö. för jag är nämnligen den enda människan ihela världen som inte får bete sig jobbigt när jag är redlös. jag blir "infantil" av alkohol, jävla töntigt ord föresten. som om jag hade nån som helst kontroll över vad jag gjorde då eller? mongoloida surkart. jag utövar i alla fall inte domestic violence när jag är packad, som han gör. jag förvandlas i alla fall inte till världens elakaste och otrevligaste människa. jag tappar omdömmet och beter mig som en fjortis, visst, men det då tycker jag att hans beteende är långt mer avskyvärt. nu sitter jag här och är bitter i alla fall, det märks väl. ensam klockan halv tre på natten som ett annat cp. fan. funderar på att klä på mig och dra hem, men det känns också överdrivet. han vet inte ens att jag är sur, och dessutom har jag ingen lust att gå ensam mitt i natten, jag är alltid så rädd då. har läst över halva flickan fårn ovan nu. den är bra faktiskt. fängslande.
men han kan ju ha så jävla roligt då och vara otrogen med nåt jävla schillerskaskabb. förbannade pytonorm.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock n' roll

I'm tired and I really should go to bed. I've got gym class first thing in the morning and Adam is allready sleeping. Well, I just thought I shuld update this thing first..
Tha maths test went OK. I hope it did or I'll hate myself. Wollstonecraft thingy tomorrow. Uh-ow. It'l ba a total disaster but I'm too tired to even care.. I just wish it could be summer right now so I could relax and just sleep for a week or so. Or catch ut on my reading. I mean, if I'm going to read all the books I've planned in just one lifetime, I'd better start now. Right now I'm getting started on "The Lovely Bones", "By Grand Central Station I sat down and wept", "Utopia" and a bunch of other ones, and I'm about to finish (hopefully) "Lolita".

Ellinor is sick so schools even more boring than usual. Anyways, off to bed.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I'm a genius

I just studied for my maths test tomorrow and I think it might go well actually. if it doesn't, however, I'm so srewed. I got a G on my last one (i think it's maye a B- or a C) wich sucks since concider myself quite good at math.. I think I'll go over to Adam's place later. I't boring at home and i hate to sleep alone.

I feel I'm getting more and more popular in my class. I've gotten a bit tired of some of the girls I've hung out with so far, i mean jesus, they're so anoying and lame! Like social catastrophies or something. I read this article about how not to behave and talk if you want peopople to like you and one of my firends did everything they said you should not do. it's silly, i know, but i couldn't help thinking about her! the article said things like "don't interrupt people, try to be interested in the persons you're talking to and don't just go on and on about yourself, don't talk louder to stop people from cutting in on you" and especially: "when someone tells you something, don't always answer by telling a similar story of your own that's a little bit more extreme, instead, apriciate that they want to share things with you." This girl, she just chats away about her boring life aaall day long. And it's not like she's got anyhing interesting to tell, it's all just stuff that's happened to her and her family. MaybeI'm being mean, butshe doesn't seem to realize that's she's not that big a deal.

Yaaawn, I have to talk about Mary Wollstonecraft on thursday.. I't interesting but I don't think I know enough to talk about it fo ten minutes...

My first blog

So, I've created this blog. We'll see if I ever use it.